( MEMES ) TEST DRIVE >> 003.

[contagio]

THE TEST DRIVE




Like it or not, you've been dragged from your world into the sanctum. It's a pretty nice city, all things considered--sci-fi, high-tech, glamourous.... Except, of course, for the giant dome encircling it, and the threat of glitching, contaminated zombies at your door. Looks like humanity's built itself a fortress that looks suspiciously like a cage, too.

The object of this meme is to get people familiar with the world of the Sanctum, and to try to see if their characters would fit in a sci-fi utopia such as this. Here are your options:

1. Intro: Waking Up. Make your intro post, folks. You wake up in a strange place, and get a strange transmission to go with it. What are you going to do?

2. Failed Upgrade. One of your upgrades is more wrong than right. How will you cope? What exactly is different? Who will help?

3. Mission outside the dome. You've come under fire. The strange things are coming towards you. Luckily, you have your suit, your teammates, and a lot of firepower. Or are you stranded on your own, looking for someone to come to the rescue? Perhaps you're the rescuer.

4.Infected Something bit you. Now you're turning into them, and all you can hear is a high-pitched squealing in your head, like a frequency you just can't quite hear. Do you tell your loved ones, or do you wait? Do you trust your doctor?

5. Military training Everyone's got to start somewhere. You're training the green folks, maybe you're one of the newcomers yourself. Maybe you haven't even touched a gun before in your life. Either way, you'd better start now.

6. Chance encounter makin' my way downtown walking fast, faces pass--you get the point. You bump into someone! Shopping, or strolling in a park? Maybe just lunch in a cafe?

7. Glory to the Network! Network post. Text with general queries, say what you have to say to the entirety of the whole city.

8. Wildcard: Whatever you want. Mix and match, switch and swatch, make something else up entirely!

Comments

[originalcopy]

Alpha? No, fuck that! I'm not a damned AI

[motherfucking_ghost]

How the fuck can I be Epsilon if I'm Alpha--which I'm not--he was just a lump of metal! You guys...got him out of there. So that's-- [Y'know, good. Means his sacrifice(?) wasn't in vain. Took care of the other AI that weren't Epsilon. Presumably. Man, this is really morbid let's stop going there.]

Okay, everything from 'fragment memory' on I have no idea what you're talking about. And--wow, just. Don't drag dads into this since he's clearly not. He's a guy that should probably get shot, I take it. Who shares a name. Which fucking sucks.

Sounds like you guys have had a fun time.

[motherfucking_ghost]

Wait, hold on, I definitely know that psycho voice. ...O'Malley? What the fuck--aw shit, we're screwed. Doc's not here, numbnuts, and neither is Tex. So how about you do us all a favor and strangle yourself with your new-found intestines.

Voice

[originalcopy]

You don't want to know. Place is fuckin' bullshit.

So basically everything sucked and went tits up.

Voice

[motherfucking_ghost]

We have a winner! Seriously, I am actually starting to miss how boring the canyon was.

[mybadside]

Ahhh hello Church, what a pleasant surprise.

[No Tex... not even Doc. He's never been alone before. No, he's going to focus on Alpha, not the sluggish quiet of this fleshy mind he's in. No Tex means no one to stop him from doing exactly what he wants. He has Alpha to himself.]

Well, I guess it's just you and me then. Why don't you come over and give me a hand, for old times sake?

[goddamngrenades]

Oh good, then I didn't get my ass shot to hell helping Tex save a couple of jackasses. Good to know.

Voice

[goddamngrenades]

Woooah there. Sounds like someone woke up on the wrong side of the Dome. Take it down a few notches, won't you buddy? We already have a violent psychopath outside the dome, we don't need one in here too.

[motherfucking_ghost]

I can give you a bullet instead. It might take a detour through your head. Does that help?

Voice

[originalcopy]

Actually yeah, but they were before I showed up. I got the giant flesh eating alien bugs, retarded space Olympics... oh and the drive-you-ax-crazy-murder-ship, that was fun.

Good times.

[originalcopy]

I thought you got your ass shot to hell trying to help Tex stop O'Malley?

[goddamngrenades]

I got my ass killed trying to help Tex with Omega. I got shot trying to help with the Alpha.

[mybadside]

[Oh hey, remember that laugh of his. Only a little darker without Doc's influence to mellow him out.]

You'd actually have to hit me for that to happen. Though, I suppose miracles could actually happen.

Do you believe in miracles... I don't.

Re: Omega | Red vs. Blue

[babyaliendaddy]

....This officially just became the best. Fucking. Day. Ever.

[Tucker's trying not to do a little happy dance when he recognizes that voice. He really is.]

Like you know how to strangle anything. You don't even know how to work hands.

Re: Video

[babyaliendaddy]

Eh, he's not a total jackass. He ended up saving us all from the fucking meta. Not to mention twenty billion fucking Texes. There were a lot of fucking Texes.

[He paused, then rolled his eyes.] And yeah, fine. He's still my best friend.

Seriously? Wow, AIs with real fleshy bits. I'm ... kinda used to it. And. Good. Because I'll murder the first Freelancer that tries to murder me. Fucking. Seriously. Done.

[babyaliendaddy]

Jesus fucking hell on a cracker, when aren't you two together ... 'mostly'. Fucking get your shit organized man! I'm not going through the battle of a million fucking Texes again!

[babyaliendaddy]

The fuck if I know. There are more versions of you than times I've done Grif's sister - bow chicka bow wow. [He put one hand on his helmet and massaged his head.]

Seriously, I don't give a fuck. Just both of you stand still and don't go leaving me again. I will fucking go murder-topia on your fucking stupid face.

[motherfucking_ghost]

[Yeah, it's just as creepy as ever. Hell, it's even a little creepier!]

I'll tell you what isn't a miracle--your face. Wow, I mean, I thought I'd seen some ugly people before, but fuck, man, I almost feel bad for you.

Almost.

Come into range. I could use the target practice. [He really could. There's no shame in running away in a panic if he keeps missing and Omega gets too close, right?]

Voice

[mybadside]

Should I? I would say my anger is exactly proportional to what's been done to me.

[He pauses for a moment, something else about this conversation deserves his attention... how do humans survive, having to process things so slowly. That's it, survival. That voice.]

You sound familiar. I know you.

[motherfucking_ghost]

That's kind of what happens when you get near Tex. Bullets happen. You may have noticed this trend.

[mybadside]

Ahaha, my dear Tucker... I can learn. You should consider coming down and helping me practice.

[motherfucking_ghost]

Look, I don't plan on it. Despite you being you, you're the first relatively friendly and familiar face from the old days I've seen. Which is...really kind of nice? Dude, there are other Freelancers here. Like, at least three of them. I did not sign up for this shit.

...Need to hug it out?

[babyaliendaddy]

Oh man, I will gladly teach you how fists can crunch bones and shit. And when you fucking heal up after about three fucking months or so, I'll be happy to show you again if you fucking forgot.

[Guess who hasn't forgotten just about anything? This guy.]

[mybadside]

Oh I think not... not when I can bide my time or better yet, get reacquainted with your other friends here.

Tucker has been most eager to come see me.

[mybadside]

And after I saved your pathetic excuse for a life.

I suppose you're still holding a grudge over that little abomination of yours.